Healing

What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?
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It's funny. I've had a hard time with this prompt. I shouldn't, really, given the state of my health in 2009, and the changes over the course of 2010, and even this year now. But I'm getting hung up on the word -- healing. I don't feel "healed". I feel like, sure, a medical issue is being managed. It's not gone, it will always be looming over me, needing attention, care, treatment. I will always need medication. So while the physical symptoms may be minimized and, to a degree, healed... It just doesn't feel that way.

And I'm trying to think if there are any other ways that I've felt healed, ever, and just coming up empty. I have to wonder if it's a mentality thing, a perception thing. Am I too cynical, too jaded, to ever see any of my hurts or injuries (physical or otherwise) as truly being healed? Or am I focusing on the scars left behind? Maybe... Maybe I don't consider something "healed" if there's a scar left, if it's still sore, if it still aches.

I think, there's a part of me that wouldn't know what to do if I suddenly had everything "healed" that needed to be. I hold onto those hurt bits, those damaged pieces, ragged edges and bruised parts, as part of my identity. I wonder if I would still be "me" without them...