Day 9: What made 2012 particularly different from other years of your life?

Now that's a good question.  In some ways, it feels like this year has been exactly the same as the rest.  All the struggles are, at their core, essentially the same.  All the triumphs are also, at their core, essentially the same.  But there's got to be something that sets this year apart, somehow.

This year... This year was the first time that LIBF finally decided to explore other relationships outside our own.  He's always had the option, but he's never really had the interest before.  And, honestly, while I'm content for everyone to do whatever makes them happy, I'd held a bit of guilt over the idea that I was "having all the fun" while he was being the dutiful boyfriend and staying monogamous.

Some of that guilt comes from the mono-centric society that we live in.  Judgement that non-monogamy is "bad", that it's "cheating", etc..  Some of it came from the idea that the drama that I always seem to find myself embroiled in (despite hating said drama) was an unfair strain on him.  Some of it was totally irrational bullshit about "inflicting" my relationship orientation on him, despite the fact that he's been entirely supportive and even encouraging of it in me.

But I got to return the favor, finally.  I got to be all happy and giddy over seeing him with someone else.  I got to be the same sort of confidant that he's been to me about relationship stuff with another person.  And it added to what we'd already had in such a way that, even though his foray didn't work out well, I think we're both still really happy he did it.

You know, I wrote about this elsewhere, in an entirely different context.  And the thing I wrote there, that I really feel needs to be repeating, is that... LIBF's testing the water on not being monogamous reinforced the idea that not only are he and I building a life, and a business together, but we're friends too.  That "being friends" with a partner can sometimes get forgotten about, with all the day to day junk and the stress over finances and family.  It can fall through the cracks a little, especially when you quite literally spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, sharing space with that person.  It's easy to take someone for granted when they're never more than 2 rooms away from you.  And so these little reminders that, above all else, even above being romantically involved, LIBF and I are friends too... Mean a lot.  And I got that this year.  And that's different.